When the Rain Falls

When The Rain Falls
Zetta Bytes

Ha, ooh
I don't understand, this should be so easy
To just reach out my hand, I know the world is real
But nothing's as it seems, oh I can tell you freely
Touching's not the only way to feel

When the rain falls it's like Heaven's crying
And the name's all the difference that there is
Cause tears are the same when they are trying to
Grow something good out of all pain, pain
There's no difference between the teardrops and the rain

I know you're probably saying, that I'm just talking crazy
To think of life that way means that I'm confused
There's happy and there's sad, but maybe yes just maybe
The sadness can make the happiness more true

When the rain falls it's like Heaven's crying
And the name's all the difference that there is
Cause tears are the same when they are trying to
Grow something good out of all pain, pain
There's no difference between the teardrops and the rain

Because I know they're both so necessary
I don't let it bother me at all, oh

When the rain falls it's like Heaven's crying
And the name's all the difference that there is
Cause tears are the same when they are trying to
Grow something good out of all pain
There's no difference between the teardrops and the rain
Ha, ooh

Labels Poem

I thought this was very thought provoking. Shows the insanity of labels, and why I hate judgment. This really got me thinking about my own life and the way I see the world. How many times have I dismissed someone because of their stereotype? Good food for thought, to say the least. Hope you get something out of it too...

"Poem of the month:
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST have an eating disorder.
I'm a VIRGIN, so I MUST be prude.
I'm a SKATER, so I MUST be an idiot.
I'm a BIKER, so I MUST be very skilled.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz.
I'm JAMAICAN, so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN, so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be ugly.
I'm PLO, so I must have nice eyes, but an ugly ass face.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be a GREEDY.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I SAY WHAT I WANT, so I MUST BE AN ASSHOLE.
I'm an OREGONION, so I MUST hate white people.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST, so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm a FOOTBALL PLAYER, so I MUST be a stupid jock and get everything handed to me.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a HICK, so I MUST be 'white trash'.
I TAKE ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST LOVE to drink.
I'm TAKEN, so I MUST be hot.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a skanky slut.
I'm a DANCER, So I must be a slut.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be Goth or emo
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm SHY, so I MUST have no social life
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy."

Oprah?

Oprah. What comes to mind when we hear that word? It's like Britney Spears. Everybody knows it, and everyone has a different image or set of thoughts run through their heads when they hear it. I've noticed three main reactions about Oprah:

1) Dismissal: Mostly from men, or people who hear her name and roll their eyes.
"We make fun of her because MOM watches her."
"That's a girls show."
"Oh. Oprah."
"Ummmm...yeah..."

2) Anger: Found this one mostly from men as well. Actually every time except one, where a woman was saying people only read a book if OPRAH says to. Clearly sarcastic and jealous. However, back to the point, wonder why she angers men so much?

3) Passion and love: The category of people who aren't trying to size her up, explain her away, judge her to the moon and back or state how much better they are than her, how weak she is or express how threatened they are by her by coining catch phrases like "Oprahanity," "The Gospel of Oprah" and "The Gospel of Self." The sad part is how most of these things are done without ownership, and worse yet, actually claiming "positive" intentions and motives.

I have left this subject alone for a while now because of what a hot topic it is, but it's time for me to say something. I hate when people tear her apart because they "just don't like her" when it's not that simple. I've noticed that the main controversy around her is over spirituality and religion, so this is what I'm brining up today. Some of you may have noticed how I say "I'm spiritual, not religious" and have been confused over this and my claimed "religion." See it all started with one Oprah show (now I know why she angers the religious) when my eyes were opened. Like most, I knew her name and didn't hate her, but had never watched her show. So I recorded a few episodes one day and enjoyed the show, so I kept watching. It became something mom and I did on the side, but nothing major. So one day she had an episode on "The Secret." I flipped! "THIS IS NEW AGE! DEMONIC! OH MY GOD! NO WAY!" That was that, mom deleted the episode and I went to work. A couple of weeks later Oprah had turned to reruns, and guess which episode recorded again? So mom was talking to me on the way home after picking me up from another day at work, and said, "I watched that episode. I need to show you something. If you can get past what you think you SHOULD think and watch it for the heart...I don't know how to explain it, but my eyes were opened. My heart feels so full of love, passion and inspiration; and I KNOW those things come from God. You have to see this..." So, I watched it with her, however, I was VERY closed. Then, after the first 20 minutes, it happened. It clicked. Suddenly I realized that these people (unlike most "religions") weren't trying to convert me to another set of beliefs, or expose me to this "demonic teaching" meant to sway me off "the right path, " but instead to free me and open my eyes to my already existent spiritual connection. It has been all around me all my life, but I never realized THAT'S what it was. From that point on I was writing and writing in my notebook all of the amazing things that were making so much sense in my spirit. The spiritual say "AHA moments," and the Christians say "revelations" or "epiphanies," and I always said "rhema."

"Rhema: Christians view Rhema as the voice of the Holy Spirit as it speaks to the believer at the present moment."

So as I started digging, I realized there isn't anything to be "afraid" of. Cautious over the heart and motives for some things, yes...but this "THING" that most Christians live under...are afraid of...it's a control tactic. That is bondage, and not from God. Didn't God say to judge a tree by it's fruit? Simply put, are you feeling fear, bondage and always "struggling for God?" That is not His heart toward you. He is Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (fruits of the spirit), so why are we so afraid of things that bring us life, because of people who say they are death? We're so stuck in the system that we stop questioning things because that's "bad" and we run in fear over statements like "open mind" and "inner voice" because those things lead to the NEGATIVE and DEMONIC side of the devil's plots to trick you into...and it goes on. Maybe, just maybe...there's more. Maybe you can still be a Christian, and be spiritual. Maybe you can realize that "Christian" "Buddhist" "Zen" and "New Age" are all religions, which are belief systems, that were all built around the same spiritual truths, with different ways of expressing it. See, in Church and Christianity we are taught not to look at these other "false teachings" because they are from the devil (does anyone get tired of that being the reason for living in fear, which you would say is from the devil?) so we never learn the big picture. Ultimately, man is afraid to lose power, because when you dig...you find more. You find that all sincerely spiritual "religions" point to the same universal truths. Imagine that!! I heard one Christian man say once how he was taught that it was wrong or bad to read about other religions. He didn't see anything wrong with it and had studied many others himself. You know the funny thing? He was still a Christian after. Not out of fear either, and also didn't see himself as better than everyone else because he knew "the one way." He was grounded. Also radical to most, but recognized that (this is how I say it, at least) "IF IT'S FROM GOD IT WILL STAND!" So why are we so afraid? We go to a building every week to be told what we're doing wrong, how to fix it, and what Man's interpretation of what God has to say is (the Bible). I think what we're afraid of is the unknown. You can see this by the unjust attacks that Oprah receives all the time. Insecure people who are afraid, but will not admit it, and so they judge her for her guts to stand up and say "THIS IS WHAT I BELIEVE!" She's not asking you to believe it and change what you're doing!! She's found truth for herself, and wants to share it with whoever will listen. Isn't that what God wants? I have really struggled with calling myself a "Christian" lately because I'm so disgusted with just about everything to do with it. From the constant condemnation over doing a set of things to get God's love and approval while saying that's not what we're doing because we already have it; to the inconsistency of saying God is love and then having a belief system that contradicts that, thus ignoring the fact that that overwrites the whole "judge a tree by it's fruit" scripture! Then our belief that all people are evil and everything good is in the future! When is enough enough? What would happen if you heard these things for the first time, and you weren't raised on them? What would your reaction be? I think even a 7 year old would recognize the major flaws in such thinking. Why don't we see that todays Pharisees are NOT going to look like and do the same things they did 2,000 years ago?? We have become the new wave of Pharisees stoning those with the truth...all in the name of God. How many stones will come at me for that one? So anyway, I've thought of just completely dropping the word "Christian" off of me, because I can safely say that the ONLY thing I still believe that fits in with that belief system is this: Jesus being the son of God. That's it. However, I have found something in that, that I couldn't get in other religions, and that is grace. Even still, for me, spirituality is what I will claim, because that is what God is anyway!! He is Spirit!! He says the spiritual realm is more real than this one, but we run away from things that aren't said in our language (Christianese for example, or whatever it may be for you). You know what I have found more than anything in my very minor studies on religion and spirituality? They all say the same thing in different ways. There's a writer who has a chart of one truth, and the different words each religion uses to describe it. So if Christians hear "inner self" "unconditioned self" "original face" or anything besides "Holy Spirit" we close ourselves off and run in fear! WHY?!?!? Because of our small-minded (key word here) "thinking!" When will we begin to step off our high horses and recognize that we are NO better than anyone else? That Oprah is an amazing, strong woman who is challenging the Pharisees of our day, NOT brining "evil" new thoughts of hope, love, freedom, and joy into our heads? I want to say right here and now that I am NOT here to pick on Christianity. I use this religion because it's the one I have lived all my life, and had personal experience with. I hope you can hear what I'm saying, and that at at minimum, it will challenge your beliefs. Hopefully open your eyes and shed some light on things that might have been locked away. So moving on...

So that was how I got to the point in my life that I'm at now. I finally started asking questions, and looking for the answers. I found truth and found that it was always in front of me, I just could see it now without my limited thinking. The answer was still God, and spirit. Same thing I always had, I just had to shed what was holding me back before I could really experience the richness of such freedom. What God intended. I've shed my "Christian Speak" and I sincerely just live my life. I have so many friends still caught in the give up/try hard cycle, constant condemnation of cultural things, and not even able to just LIVE! I believe that God intended for us to experience HEAVEN ON EARTH! I believe he has a paradise for us right HERE and NOW! I don't believe in always looking to the future or back at the past, because that is when we lose all the potential for our now! Simply put, do you know what I really believe in more than anything? Freedom. Freedom of expression. Individuality. A world where people can be themselves completely and have the freedom to be different. A world where we don't think we are less than or greater than based on what we think/believe. A world that can be spiritually connected and in the now, without having to agree on everything. No judgment. Just LIFE, which is what God created us for in the first place.

There may be more on this subject, but for now, I'll leave off with this. If you followed me this far, congrats (:P) and thanks for reading.

What Planet Are You From?

Sometimes I like to do random things like quizzes, so here are my results from a fun one:

You Are From Jupiter

You are exuberantly curious - and you love to explore newness. Enthusiastic and optimistic, you get a kick out of stimulating intellectual discussions. Foreign cultures and languages fascinate you. You love the outdoors, animals, and freedom. Chances are you tend to exaggerate, so try to keep a lid on that. If you do, you'll continue to be known for your confidence, generosity, and sense of justice.

What Planet Are You From?

The Fight and the Revelation

The other day mom and I had a really, really bad fight. Yes, even in our relationship we have bad days and can tear each other apart. Right now it feels like mom and I are re-defining the way we see and relate to each other (and life) now that a major form of toxicity has finally been removed. So when we argue, sometimes it feels like we're fighting phantoms more than each other; you know? So after this fight I wrote a letter to apologize (I was quite upset when I wrote it). It was very honest, and it can take A LOT for me to be honest and open up my heart. I think it's because I'm so used to turmoil that I've learned to shut off and close up my heart. Needless to say, it takes the equivalent of a 9.7 earthquake for me to tear my walls down. When I do, however, I learn a lot about why I do the things I do, and more about who I am and what I think. Anyway, I was re-reading the letter and I saw parts of it that I thought could really apply to my walk with Abba. Then I started thinking that maybe more people could relate to these feelings, so maybe it would be good to share. I hope this helps someone, somehow. Maybe by just knowing that someone out there can relate to you and how you feel, or maybe just to see that we all make mistakes. Here goes...

"I don't know how to get my heart back. It's iced over with pain and blockages that stunt the love, compassion, mercy, trust and creativity that used to reside there. I'm always striving, waiting to let down my cold, hard mask in a safe place. But safety scares me because it doesn't feel as real to me as pain. Then you keep loving me when I don't give anything back. I can't feel, and you do, so you love. I don't return it because I don't know how, with the condition of my heart. I'm in a lot of pain, but unable to feel it, and unable to trust love to come in and heal it; because there's pain with that too. I feel so rough...so...stagnate. Like waters that stopped flowing a long time ago that don't know how to find their way back to sea. Sometimes when something moves me or touches me deeply I feel like there's still something alive in me. Something that proves there's still connection to the "big sea" somewhere out there. I guess kind of like God; my spiritual connection. I want to move forward and find my heart and my trust again. If I never do, though, I hope what's left of me is enough; and that you can still forgive me. I'm sorry that I'm damaged and incomplete. I only wish I was whole, and enough, but...I'm just sorry. I'm tired of feeling so sad all the time. I want the pain and sadness to go away so I can be free to live my God-given gift of life. I want to be happy, and to love without fear. I want you in my life, contrary to what I always tell you. It's what I think about myself (worthless, etc.) that I throw at you; not what I actually think about you. I love you, and I want and need you. Always."

God Is Love?

God spoke this to my heart a couple months ago during a chat conversation with my friend Matthew. We both struggle to express love to those we care about around us. It's like a block inside the heart. So, I was looking up the famous passage in the Bible on love, and this is what I heard:

"1Co 13:4 Love has patience, is kind; love is not envious; love is not vain, is not puffed up;
1Co 13:5 does not behave indecently, does not pursue its own things, is not easily provoked, thinks no evil;
1Co 13:6 does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices in the truth.
1Co 13:7 Love quietly covers all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
1Co 13:8 Love never fails.

It's a description of God's love, and what He's given us. A kind of love that we could never match, which is why it's not a description of what we should do, just of how He loves us! Make sense? Then, as we fully grasp that love, it begins to flow in us more and more, without us even realizing it, and without our efforts."

Beanie and the Peaceful Warrior

Today I found myself pondering about the powerful messages in the movie "Peaceful Warrior." I try to pay attention to my emotions (to be more in touch with myself), and after watching this movie I felt uplifted, focused and inspired. I thought it was a beautiful story about an empty soul who found true meaning and purpose in life by rediscovering his love and passion for what was in front (and inside) of him all along. The main thing I got from this movie is how the only time we have is this moment, and just imagine what we could do if we always lived our lives in the now! Just think of the unlimited possibilities and power that places in our hands with one simple choice. Easy? No. Simple? Yes. Well, this touched me, and thus the link to my blog was decided (inthismoment). As for my blog name, I believe it's appropriate, because when I write I'm letting you "Inside My Heart." Please tread lightly. :) Anyway, (wrapping this up) I just wanted to share a little with you about this wonderful movie, and introduce myself at the same time! If I've peaked your interest at all, the movie trailer is below along with a few quotes from the film. Enjoy!



"There are no ordinary moments."

"The journey is what brings us happiness not the destination."

"Everyone wants to tell you what to do and what's good for you.
They don't want you to find your own answers, they want you to believe theirs."
"Let me guess, you want me to believe yours?"
"No, I want you to stop gathering information from the outside and start gathering it from the inside."

"Death isn't sad. The sad thing is, most people don't live at all."